BP and the government are telling Gulf Coast residents that the threat of ecological catastrophe, unleashed by BP criminal actions, will fade away now that the cement on the seal is holding. They claim that "[their] cleanup activities are still substantial".
This of course is a load of so much toxic sludge and just as impossible to swallow for anyone who isn't being paid of by BP. First off, the substantial cleanup activities, boasted by these paragons of virtue, consisted of dumping millions of gallons of even deadlier chemicals directly into the Gulf of Mexico so that the oil would be out of sight. Secondly, unless we've fallen into an alternate reality where the laws of time and space don't apply, then closing the barn door after the horse is out is still an exercise in futility; so considering that the mixture of crude and CorExit (the aforementioned deadly dispersant) is considerably more toxic than either one is by itself, chances are the environmental disaster will not fade. In fact, thanks to nifty natural processes like Biomagnification and Bioaccumulation these toxins will travel on up through the food chain, increasing in toxicity along the way, until it reaches your dinner table.
But the government releases a report stating that magical microbes, which can digest trace amounts of crude on the sea floor, managed to eat a substantial portion of 5 million barrels of crude contaminated with millions of gallons of harsh detergents; not only did these tiny organisms survive this toxic bath, according to the white house scientists (who said cigarettes and cancer aren't connected and global warming doesn't exist) say they're thriving on it.
*cough* *cough* Bullshit!
How is the destruction of life in the ocean "not as serious as previously thought"?
Apparently the government and BP officials have been to busy destroying evidence to investigate any of it; hundreds of thousands of dead marine animals is pretty bloody serious, and seems like a warning that things aren't right with the world.
Seems the authorities are reading their own press.